Enjoy!
How did I get to this point... What could have happened in my life that lead me to this point... Maybe it was my parents... Maybe it was just the world I grew up in. It would be nice to find out...
I was born to fairly well off parents. I mean, we weren't poor, but we also didn't have a lot. We got by comfortably. I always used to want more. Always the things we never quite had enough for. But they never gave in to my tantrums. My parents wanted to make sure I knew the value of things and how well I was doing without the more extravagant items. It must of worked, because I stopped complaining after a few years.
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I was about 10 before I started asking for things again... But it wasn't the fancy items or nicer food. I just wanted some time to myself. The world had started changing slowly when I was about 6-years-old... It didn't really kick up until my 13th birthday. We were having a small party at my place. Just me and a couple friends. It was after school, so my parents gave me permission. These friends all had more money than us. I think in their own way they pitied me... Not that I really cared. They were nice enough and treated me well. Besides, it's not like I didn't present well. We just didn't have bags of money.
But my birthday party... I'd been to all their parties before... They were quite the extravagant affairs. Each friend actually offered to buy me an outfit so I would blend in more at the parties. My parents didn't mind because they didn't want trouble. So I had a few nice outfits that I would rotate when going to each of their houses. Mostly we stuck to my place because they could drop the fancy clothing and just hang around eating homemade pizza in jeans and an ugly shirt.
Anyway, back to my party. Because that's when we all knew things had changed for the worst. My parents had been out getting a couple things we forgot last time we went out. They ran back in the house, screaming at us all to hide. I remember leading them to my secret hidden room. My bedroom was mostly for show. It was very girly and the sort of thing you would expect. It had a bit of my personality and looked lived-in... But I never slept in there.
My real room was hidden in my closet. Because the walls were covered in panelling, it was easy enough to hide the little door we had to crawl through. I hadn't told my friends about this room yet. I don't even think I had told them why my parents were almost always out of the house when they came over... But the fact I hadn't told them yet didn't mean anything in that moment. I think I eventually explained. I remember them being cool with it as we sat in my room with the lights off...
I told them stories of just sitting in my room with the lights off even while my parents were out. When they weren't at their jobs, they were activists against a government they view as oppressive. They only took me out a couple times to protest, and never for very long. The room they always got to see was just that. A room. It only looked lived in because most of my school stuff was done in there. I would only have short naps in the bed. Otherwise, I lived behind my closet.
My parents had always tried to prepare me for the eventuality that someone would come into the house to take them away. I always knew it would happen. But for how quite things had been for the last few months... I guess I had lulled myself into a false sense of security. I also never could have imagined this sort of thing happening on my birthday.
But my friends and I hid in my real room. We could hear men searching the house for us. Well, at least me. I don't think they had any idea that my friends were over for a party. I don't know how long we waited in the dark room, but I never said a word or rested for a moment. My friends all drifted off to sleep after a few hours of waiting. If they snored a little to loudly, I nudged them awake... Or at least until they stopped. I don't remember how long it took before I heard the last of them leave...
Once I made sure I didn't hear anything, I had the idea to sneak out and double check that they were gone. It took a while, though. I remember jumping at every little sound like someone would come out from around the corner and take me away. After I finished going through the house, I ran back to my friends, waking them all up. I knew we had to get out and I knew I would never see my parents again. I don't know why I told them about my parents being taken...
My one friend actually got her family to take me in... It was weird moving from my much more modest living environment to their large house in the richest part of the city. I don't remember ever liking it much, but I put on a brave face for my friend's sake. Leaving the house now took a lot longer... My friends told me I should finally grow my hair out (I never saw the appeal but they thought my dirty blonde hair would look better long). I eventually did... But not because of anything they said.
Every change to my appearance was so that I wouldn't be recognized. I didn't leave the house for months without a hat of some sort on until my hair really grew out. Hell, I even began to like it longer. Instead of the second hand clothing I was used to, everything was new. My friend's parents seemed to appreciate that I took to a richer lifestyle rather quickly. For some reason, it felt like I was more like a project for them. Something to work on. Maybe see if it's possible for a 'commoner' to be 'sophisticated' or some crap like that.
Unfortunately for them... I was also starting to take after my parents. Once they were gone... I was really able to see the change in the world. Book burning was an old pastime. Public executions became a family affair, something to take the kids to see. Poor families were forced to regulate how many children they had or be forced apart. But those extremes every day didn't last long...
After the 'rabble' was 'cleaned up', things more or less went back to whatever 'normal' people wanted to believe in. My friend and her family didn't see it the way I did. Yes the violent uprisings had stopped, but that was because people feared for their lives. Yes everything looked clean and crime was down, but that was because people were forced to conform to the new ways or be severely punished. Yes overpopulation wasn't a problem any more, but that was because no one was having kids...
I could have sworn that, until my 17th birthday, no one could see the world the way it was. Everyone had on rose coloured glasses and just went about their business. But then again... Maybe they still had their glasses on...
There apparently had been a birthday party planned for me. I was sick when I turned 16 so the party was delayed until the next year... But two days before my 17th birthday party, I made my plans. It would be a birthday to remember. I don't remember exactly how I planned everything... I barely remember why I wanted to do it this way....
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And now I'm here. A grenade in one had, pin in the other. It's raining... Water slowly drips down my hands and wetting my sleeves... My bag is soaking wet... The cross my mother gave me hangs around my neck... I don't know how many have their guns trained on me. And I don't care... But I'm crying...
Happy birthday to me... Happy birthday to me... Happy birthday......
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